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Still looking for that special someone? Just be sure to keep
yourself safe. Here are ten ways to find love for your heart but
keep your personal protection on your mind.
1. Watch out for someone who seems too good to be true. Begin by
communicating solely by email, then look for odd behavior or
inconsistencies. The person at the other end may not be who or
what he says he is. Trust your instincts. If anything makes you
uncomfortable, walk away for your safety and protection.
2. Make sure all contact on a member site takes place through a
double-blind system, ensuring your true identity is protected
until you decide to reveal it. Never include your last name,
home address, phone number, place of employment, email address
or any other identifying information in your profile or initial
messages. When corresponding with someone, turn off your email
signature file. Stop communicating with anyone who puts pressure
on you for personal information or attempts in any way to trick
you into revealing it.
3. Cautious decisions will result in a better dating experience.
Be sure to protect yourself against trusting the
untrustworthy; potential boyfriends must earn your trust
gradually over time, through consistently honorable,
straightforward behavior. Take all the time you need to
investigate for a straightforward person and pay careful
attention along the way. If you suspect someone is lying, he
probably is, so act accordingly. Be responsible about romance,
your heart will thank you. Don’t become prematurely intimate
with someone, even if that intimacy only occurs online. If you
mutually decide to cross the point of no return, be smart and
protect yourself.
4. Most online dating services do not require members to submit
to background checks. So make sure you get as much info as
possible by asking questions, utilizing internet search engines
and most importantly, using common sense. Nothing is 100%
reliable, just remember to use your head…not just your heart.
5. A photo will give you a good idea of the person’s appearance,
which may prove helpful in achieving a gut feeling. In fact,
it’s best to view several images of someone in various settings:
casual, formal, indoor and outdoors. If all you hear are excuses
about why you can’t see a photo, consider that he has something
to hide.
6. A phone call can reveal much about a person’s communication
and social skills. Consider your security and do not reveal your
phone number to a stranger. Try a cell phone number instead or
use local telephone blocking techniques to prevent your phone
number from appearing on a Caller ID. Give out your phone number
ONLY when you feel completely comfortable.
7. The beauty of meeting someone online is that you can collect
information gradually, later choosing whether to pursue the
relationship in the offline world. You never are obligated to
meet anyone, regardless of your level on online intimacy. And
even if you decide to arrange a meeting, you always have the
right to change your mind. It’s possible that your decision to
keep the relationship anonymous is based on a hunch that you
can’t logically explain. Trust yourself. Go with your instincts
8. Pay attention to displays of anger, intense frustration or
attempts to pressure or control you. Acting in a
passive-aggressive manner, making demeaning or disrespectful
comments or any physically inappropriate behavior are all red
flags. You should be concerned if your date exhibits any of the
following behavior without providing an acceptable explanation:
Provides inconsistent information about age, interests,
appearance, marital status, profession, employment, etc. Refuses
to speak to you on the phone after establishing ongoing, online
intimacy. Fails to provide direct answers to direct questions.
Appears significantly different in person from his or her online
persona. Never introduces you to friends, professional
associates or family members.
9. When you choose to meet offline, always tell friends where
you are going and when you will return. Leave your date's name
and telephone number with a friend. Never arrange for your date
to pick you up at home. Provide your own transportation, meet in
a public place at a time with many people around (a familiar
restaurant or coffee house is often a good choice), and when the
date is over, leave on your own as well. Refrain from drinking
excessively, as it could weaken your ability to make good
decisions. If at some point you and your date decide to move to
another location, take your own car. When the timing is right
thank your date for getting together and say goodbye
10. If you plan to fly in from another city, arrange for your
own car and hotel room. Do not make known the name of your hotel
and never allow your date to make arrangements for you. Get a
rental car at the airport and drive directly to your hotel.
Always call your date from the hotel. You can also check out the
location you both agreed to meet at ahead of time to see exactly
where it is and to get more familiar with an area . If the
location seems inappropriate or unsafe, go back to your hotel.
Try to contact your date at that location or leave a message on
an answering machine. Always make sure a friend or family member
knows your plans and has your contact information. And carry a
cell phone at all times.
REMEMBER!
Never do anything you feel unsure about. If you are in any way
afraid of your date, use your best judgment to diffuse the
situation and get out of there. Excuse yourself long enough to
call a friend for advice, ask someone else on the scene for help
or slip out the back door and drive away. If you feel you are in
danger, call the police; it’s always better to be safe than
sorry. Never worry or feel embarrassed about your behavior; your
safety is much more important than one person’s opinion of you.
To check out that hot date, go to our Background Checking page!
For more dating
articles, try our Articles List!
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