What If You’re Disappointed When You Meet In-Person? |
So you made a success of it, you found a match online and now
you’re meeting up? Congratulations! The hardest part of the
journey is over and now the fun begins. But remember that first
impressions do count and if you’re not careful, you could still
mess things up at this stage. With this in mind, here are my top
tips for your first face-to-face:
Firstly, make sure you choose the right venue; this may seem
obvious but the choice of location can really make or break a
date. Ideally you should choose somewhere that’s public, with
people around but where you can still hold a conversation.
Meeting at your house or your date’s house is a definite no-no,
this not only sends the wrong signals for a first date, but
could potentially be unsafe – however well you think you know
someone online, they could still turn out to be a real world
psychopath. Even worse, they could be really boring and fail to
take the hint when it’s time to leave!
Movies are often regarded as good venues for dates, but think
about it – you’re stuck for up to three hours with your date in
a place where you can’t talk or even look at each other
properly; is that really the best environment to make an
impression? Likewise the main dancefloor at Ministry of Sound is
not ideal for an involved conversation.
Of course, this is not a definitive rule, you might have got
chatting in the first place through a shared love of films or
dance music, but for the majority of meetings a small intimate
café or quiet pub provides the perfect environment for a little
light conversation, some flirting and plenty of eye contact for
that all important personal connection that is the key to a
successful date.
Time of day can be an important factor for a meeting as well.
Think about what kind of date you want to have. What do you know
about your match already? Is he or she an all-night party animal
or an afternoon tea on the lawn type? Studies show that our
intentions in online dating are perceived differently depending
on the time of day we choose to interact, and this also applies
to ‘real world’ dating.
If you’re serious about looking for a long term partner and you
think this match could possibly be ‘the one’, you should
consider meeting earlier in the afternoon or evening. This gives
the impression that you are a more sober and dependable
character, and that your intentions are honest. If you’re more
into playing the field, or are aiming for a more casual and
‘fun’ relationship then meeting up later in the evening should
be fine.
Of course the time of day and venue have to also work together;
cafés, art galleries, perhaps a visit to the aquarium are all
classic afternoon or early evening activities, leaving time for
you to continue to a bar or restaurant later if things are going
particularly well. Late night dates are better suited to more
upbeat or raucous activities such as gigs, ten-pin bowling or
maybe a spot of salsa dancing.
Once again, there is no definitive formula that will help you to
choose the perfect setting for your date, think about what you
know about the person you’re meeting up with, what the two of
you have in common and try to choose a date scenario that
reflects this. Above have fun, relax and be safe!
For
more tips on face to face meetings see part 2 of this article
For more dating
articles, try our Articles List!
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