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Online dating can really be amusing. A lot of people even
find it workable and gratifying. However, not all online dating escapades produce positive
results in the end. There are instances wherein the expectations
sometimes go out of hand when executed in reality.
What if you
find somebody that you think is the right person for you, reply
to their profile, chat online, exchanging messages, chatting continuously, and
spending hours over the phone.
The chemistry is instant, you think and you set up and go out on
that first real date!
Oh boy, the woman appears to be
completely different than you expected. The man is so
different that you think that you must pushed the wrong button
and conjured his evil twin! What started out to be a cheerful,
lively meeting of the mind and heart dissolves into stiff and
strained interaction, or worse.
And as the date comes to an end, thank goodness, and the woman
says that she had a lovely time--what a lie, and he says he was
thrilled to meet her--another lie. What can you do, besides tell
tall tales?
This kind of situation is not uncommon in the world of online
dating. There are many cases where two people just don’t click
when they finally meet each other in person.
People ask
why. They find it hard to believe that the
person they have learned to like (and maybe, started even to love) online is entirely
different when in person. Has this happened to you?
Try to assess what went wrong. Is it
just that your point of view that has changed? Were you deceived by the
other person? Or was it just wrong from the very start?
The problem with most people who indulge into online dating is
that they fail to keep in mind that when they communicate to
their dates online, they are communicating, not with a person
but with a series of texts, with no person involved. This is
because any answers can always be fabricated or the other person
can always deceive his or her date.
So, when this happens, personal meetings would really end up
like the one mentioned above. This is because reality is
entirely different from what the computer screen illustrates.
Nevertheless, the problem is still there. One should know how to
gradually exit from the situation without having to hurt the
other person’s feelings.
So, for people who wish to know how to do this, here’s a list of
some useful tips that you can use and make rejections a little
easier to bear.
1. It would be better not to delve on the issue about not having
the right chemistry in the first place, or pointing out the
reason why an individual cannot pursue the dating any longer.
In order to break things easily, it would be better for a person
not to mention anything that will focus on the issue of not
getting the expectations one had started to build before they
even meet in person.
It is wrong to emphasize on the physical qualities of the person
that is why the other person does not want to communicate with
him or her anymore.
2. It is best for the concerned person to try to explain to the
other person the importance of finding each other’s right mate
in order to build a happy relationship.
An individual should at least try to make an extra effort on
explaining how chemistry works with two people and that lack of
such value could be detrimental in one’s relationship.
3. Excuses will only make the matter worst.
Rejections should be instigated in such a way that the other
person will not be hurt. However, this does not mean that the
person will have all the right to make such lousy excuses.
There are instances wherein the other person can sense the
effort in making lame defenses and would only be hurt more.
4. People should be more consistent on their decisions.
There are instances wherein people start to tell the other
person that their relationship will not work, but in the long
run, comes back rushing into the other person’s life because of
the realization that he or she is wrong about his or her
decisions after all.
This will only make the matter worst and will only generate
negative feelings.
5. it’s best for the concerned individual to let the other
person express his or her sentiments and ask questions. Then,
the concerned person should try to exert a little effort in
answering the questions as honestly as possible.
The bottom line here is that when a person gets disappointed
after meeting his or her online date in person, it would be
better to set things straight at once and put an end on the
situation before it gets heated up.
Moreover, the other person should learn how to empathize with
the other person so as to understand what they would feel if
they were on their shoes.
It is all a matter of being sensitive at the same time being
honest on what the other person would feel.
Good luck!
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